I'd known it for months -- it wasn't enough for me to give up just chocolate this year for Lent.
I wanted it to be enough. Tried to convince myself that it would be plenty of a commitment to honor the sacrifice God made when he gave his only begotten son for us, for me -- a girl who spends half of every Sunday church service thinking about what she's going to eat for lunch/brunch after.
"I love chocolate." I told myself. "It really is the hardest thing for me to sacrifice."
I told myself this, but I knew better.
A little voice inside my head kept telling me, "Hey Diana, stop kidding yourself! It isn't the hardest thing."
Which is why I did something crazy -- something that only uber-health nuts and diabetics and extreme Olympic athletes do.
I gave up all desserts.
At first glance, it seems like a self-serving sacrficice -- like I am only giving up dessert so that I can lose weight or make everyone at my college roommate's wedding jealous by my new hot and taut bod. But I don't need to lose weight, don't want to lose weight and am not the type to showcase my bod -- hot, taut or otherwise. I chose to give up dessert because I wanted to show that even though I spend most of my spare time thinking about, cooking, eating, and blogging about food, I know there are more important things in this life.
God, for one. My faith, for another.
I love desserts -- love them so much that I eat something sweet after lunch and dinner every single day, but, ultimately, I love God more.
It hasn't been an easy first week. There have been a few headaches (withdrawals?), some grouchy moments in the chocolate aisle at the grocery store, and I was faced with extreme temptation when I needed to make 45 chocolate macaroons for a charity event this past weekend. It would have been so easy to just lick the chocolate right off my hand...
While it pains me to say this (especially since it is Girl Scout cookie season and I have a weakness for Samaos), I'm glad I did. Glad I made the commitment to take on something that has already been challenging for me. It's just more proof that with God by my side, anything is possible.
Even saying no to an adorable Girl Scout.